Understanding of 'why?' ATC do things seems to be the underlying theme here.
One thing we are always happy to do at the LARS unit where I normally work is to welcome organised visits from flyers who operate in our area.
ATCers, both Civ and Mil, will get familiarisation flights are part of their job if they are not already pilots themselves.
Flyers should maybe get in and actually see what the ATC job involves. Sit with a Controller and see how it really works. The people I show around are usually quite amazed how the job is done, how intermittent a track can be in certain situations, how the rules are maintained and how busy the airspace really looks.
You should be able to get hold of a Liaison Officer through the switchboard of your local Airport/Military Unit.
I also actively encourage my collegues to read PPRuNe as it has certainly allows Controllers to realise many conciderations not written in the ATC manuals.
Oh, and for those Controllers out there that aren't getting their Fam Flights in, hastle your bosses more. It is Flight Safety after all!