Met briefing at Scampton in spring 1989, after we'd cycled from the mess over some unexpected snow.
In walks met man with snow on shoulders, who delivers dead pan met brief with no mention of snow.
'any questions?' Wag at back: 'Any chance of snow today?'
'Not a chance.' Walks out to cheers.
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Churchill (although what he was doing on a bus, lord knows).
Lady on spotting undone fly: 'Excuse me sir, but your penis is sticking out'
'You flatter yourself, madam. It is hanging out!'
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Ops in NI after a bomb in Tyrone. We'd just dropped a team from the QDG do deal with it, including the one-eyed Colonel, who asks us, Aneka Rice stylee, to hover around for a bit and await orders.
After a while we ask him for intentions.
'Return my location, land, shut down and await orders, OUT'
Eh? Not doing that. ' Hello 9, this is tango 23, Negative, do not intend to land and shut down, OUT'
'Tango 23, this is is 9. DO NOT SAY 'OUT' TO ME' OUT!'