A mate of mine had bought himself a double bed for his room in the mess and so he'd moved his old issue bed out into the corridor. His old mattress was up on its side leaning against the wall. Needless to say he recieved many remarks about wetting his bed in the night etc etc.
This banter went on for a while until someone said, "Seriously then, why is your mattress leant up against the wall?"
As quick as a flash came the reply, "It was the only way I could get your mum back into her wheelchair".
Purile & bad taste I know, but I don't think I've laughed that hard since.
Cheers