More Churchill:
WSC at a reception in Canada was seated next to a fire breathing Methodist minister.
Pretty waitress approached with a tray of drinks and Churchill accepted. She turned to offer the minister a drink who declared "I would rather commit adultery than have alcohol pass my lips"
From WSC came " Come back young lady, I didn't realise we had a choice"
And
In a Commons debate during a particularly tedious speech from a member of the opposition Churchill appeared to nod off. His opponent asked Must you fall asleep when I'm speaking?"
The reply: "No, it's purely optional"
And a good way to impress the boss from UAS days:
Boss very underwhelmed at numbers signed up for enforced 'fun' games night starts questioning people about their excuses:
"XXX, why aren't you going?"
"Because I don't like them Sir"
Boss very unimpressed. "Oh really?"
"Yes Sir, I really don't like them"
CS