"YOU! Sit the f*ck down, shut the f*ck up or you'll be off this jet faster than $hit through a goose! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR??!!"
Well, it would be nice to be able to get away with something like that, but sadly the huggy-fluffies would have a fit and gibber on about unsuitable body language, customer alienation or some similar crap, I guess.
Mind you, the red-haired Irish Number One on a buzz flight I was on a few years ago didn't stand any nonsense from someone who started using his cellphone as we were taxying. She shot out of her seat and said in a very firm manner "Sir, turn that phone off RIGHT THIS INSTANT". And he did - without daring to reply. Good girl - that's the way to deal with idiots!