I just see Claims Direct making an advert about this....
CD: "Hello, Claims Direct. Your pain, our gain"
Bird: "Squark. I was mindin me own business, an' this Dutch tw@t in 'is Fokker ran me down. Swine. I was smashed within an inch of me life, I was. Yes, he had clearance to land, and I'd forgotten it, but I still want compo"
CD: "Ooooh loads of money there then to claim! Anything else?"
Bird "One of 'is baby mates hoovered up me mum yesterday"
CD: "Riches beyond your wildest dreams then, Mr Gull. We take 98% of the damages as our fee. Good job you didn't get mauled by Delta, they're skint"
TA