Sorted now, the reason I couldn't send but only receive was (I think) because I was using a broadband connection on my home network as soon as I plugged in the modem and tried it on dial up they sent straight away. Even though I changed the smtp outgoing server to the broadband one it obviously didn't like it.
The upshot was that nortons was causing the problem and once hacked about a bit all came good, I think this explains to me why I don't personally use nortons, I have in the past and it took over so much I binned it, and now I can remember why.
Thanks to all for the help, much appreciated,
