A lot of you probably remember the thread I made a little while ago. I just wanted to say: thankyou. I've taken on a new outlook on life and finally come to accept it (sadly, I admit). We were given homework to write a sonnet for English the other day, and I knew what to write about straight away. Maybe you'd like to read it; I call it "Tragic Story" (I chose the name after I finished writing it, I think it fits perfectly).
Once upon a time there was
A dream that fate itself brought,
An ambitious dream it was
But the battles would be fought.
Then fate changed and life had turned
Upside down and the wrong way round,
The ambition that had burned
Lay charred and dead upon the ground.
The road had gone,
The path was blocked,
The dreams were wrong,
Ambition mocked.
Once life was like a quest for glory,
But now it’s just a tragic story.
Not strictly a sonnet, but it's close enough
It was like something just opened up in me and it made me feel a lot better. It was like I'd just transferred my problems into 14 lines on a piece of paper. I could never understand the appeal of poetry - but now I do. I just stared at it for half an hour after I wrote it. I think of it more as a piece of art than a piece of writing.
So, although I am still sad about it, I'm now aiming at being a paramedic. I can't do that yet (age and various things), I'm either going to do something revolving around something I enjoy, like working with motorbikes, or I'll go do an engineering degree - but since I'm untalented in that area and don't really want to go to university anyway I'll probably avoid that.
Important thing is though, I'm moving on now, trying to concern myself with normal problems people face daily instead of clutching at straws. I've plastered my walls with posters of various fighter jets and stuff to remind me of a forgotten era, but I'm exploring realistic options now. I'm sure I'll make a good paramedic - I hope so anyway.
And it's all thanks to you guys. I no longer feel like my life is pointless, terrible and over. Thank you very much, I owe a lot to you all. You've done more for me than I could ever ask from anyone.
Sincerely,
H. Wright
P.S. I'll never forget you.
Edit: hmm, seems the post was merged with my old thread. Nevermind =)