First you make sure all the switches are where they're supposed to be. Then you fill out all the paperwork you should have done prior to flight. Then you position the fuel selector to the fullest tank. If you can't detect any fuel in any tank then you can either throw the fuel cap as far away as is humanly possible OR use the screwdriver attachment on the fuel drainer to punch numerous holes in each & every fuel tank (don't forget to bash the hell out of of the edges of the punctured metal with a convenient rock. Leave the rock(s) next to the hole(s)). Ensure you light any nearby grass/shrubs/leaf litter/lolly papers in the ashtrays so lack of spilled fuel isn't queried. Start the fire with a bunch of dry grass near the exhuast outlet. Make sure the conflagration includes the CVR.
Retire to the pub before the services arrive & consume copious amounts of medicinal alcohol. Shout the bar so everyone will remember you started drinking when you got there after your miraculous escape.