ive been there before, and some days I still am, i was on meds for 2 years, and had therapy. I realised I needed to be better before I could be a pro pilot. Getting rid of a loser partner also boosted my mood and now im young free and single! But message me if ya want to know anything more, but I promise you that you will get better-and you wont be like that for long, you just need to learn to control and rationalise your thoughts. al