You know you’ve been in the Middle East too long when:
1. Your wife confesses she will have “veddy big problem” ever being able to pick up a mop again back in the real world.
2. you “chukkle” and agree that it
shouldn’t ever be a problem.
3. You find yourself giving the wife the odd “love-slap”, in the local style, just to get your point across.
4. You see nothing wrong with this.
5. You insist your wife walks about 10 feet behind you. (Unless you're on holiday in Afghanistan, then it's 50 feet IN FRONT)
6. Your wife spends more time on PPRUNE than you do.
7. Net-surfing pilots talk about some irritating bag on the net and you’re too embarrassed to admit it’s yours.
8. 14 years no longer seems that much of an age difference when you meet a keen, new eastern European Air Hostess on your crew.
9. Late 30s to early 40s
does seem rather old when you look sideways at the tired old bag spending all your dough and nagging you.
10. Your wife comes home, suspiciously, from the 3-month break after just 4 weeks “just to check how you are, Dear…”
11. The place doesn’t look like much cleaning has been done by the maid for about, oh, 4 weeks (apart from maybe a little polishing).
12. She finds the maid’s G-strings in her underwear drawer and her own crap on the floor of the maid’s quarters.
13. All the other baby-clasping wives in the “compound” say nothing whenever you walk past but glare at you from their toy-strewn huddle two driveways down the lane.
14. Their husbands (your mates) are growled at for talking to you and have to slink off trying to hide that slight feeling of envy.
15. You no longer care that you’re getting fatter and closer to baldness because you can pull chicks you’d never even think of back in the real world.
16. They greet you by name at Cyclone and have your table ready.
17. FOs bid not to fly with you because their livers can't hack the pace anymore.
18. The fast-food delivery guys know your voice on the phone and "usual" order.
Did I miss anything?
Jokes everyone, just JOKES!!
