mooney, the gist was i am classified along with the middle 40% of european pilots, I have a certain affinity for multitasking but with a few weaknesses that could be covered with practice. in other words, average.
i'm not being bitter, if ctc is looking for the best, fair enough, but thing is i really cant afford paying for a license at the moment. by the time i make enough to earn my fATPL and actually have enough hours to land a job at an airline i'll be old enough not be considered viable as a f/o by a number of airlines, so the way i see it, ctc was my best bet at becoming a pilot. i know things may change and that this is far from universal, but it is my 2 cents.
on a lighter note, getting your ppl/cpl in new zealand is very economic. i might try getting down there. i'm definetily not giving up but my options are few