1. Fill condom with honey, place carefully in bed.....
2. Remove all bolts from bed, replace with matchsticks.
3. Disconnect wash basin downpipe.
4. Carefully remove all screws to wardobe doors.
5. Locate SD cap. Fill same with generous quantity of french chalk.
Or, if you really don't like him, borrow dog. Feed dog with Exlax. Lock dog in room for suitable period of time......