I wouldn't define a real war only as one on home turf with the ADF fully commited. Iraq's a pretty real war. There's a C130H with a bullet hole in it to prove that. And I think the Army boys in-country think it's pretty real
Just because no Aussies have been killed yet doesn't mean that some people over there aren't trying to very hard to kill us.
I hope your mum realises that being female only excludes you from combat in the Infantry in the ADF. RAN ships have female sailors and RAAF aircraft have female aircrew who have most certainly been sent to the Stan and to the Sandpit.
It's good that you realise that you could go to war. There is NO POINT joining the ADF if you would refuse to serve in combat.