This is a true story...only the names will be changed to protect the guilty.
Recently, while holding forth on the various methods of monkey hunting, I was challenged as to prove the validity of my treatise. The challenge was issued in the middle of an evenings social event held on the Saturday night of our annual airshow at Olympia.
Now, being one who holds very strictly to the tenents of honor, integrity, and gentlemanly conduct....I felt obliged to demonstrate exactly what I had stated to all and sundry.
My preferred method of monkey hunting requires no special armament beyond a keen wit and sharp eye.
Well, the monkey is a sensitive thing....and seeks the support of his company and family unit. I suggest the most accurate way of bringing down the target is very simple. All one has to do is simply select the monkey of your choice and point your extended arm and index finger right between that monkey's eyes. In no short order....that monkey will catch on that you are interested in exactly him....as will all the other monkeys. You might pitch a few rocks in his direction as a force multiplier. It takes just a minute or two and all the other monkeys will move away from your pick....and he will begin to suffer psychological trauma. In due course, all the other monkeys will abandon the sought critter and he will become uttterly devastated by that....to the point he will fall from the tree and collapse in total surrender.
At that point you merely walk over and use whatever means is handy to dispatch your monkey. Simple.
Now as to whether Man and the monkey are related....that is beyond me....however....during my demonstration of the above described monkey hunting routine...my Crew Chief Brad LNU (Last Name Unknown), a current USAF Flight Crewmember and quite a fellow.....and my ersatz monkey....standing across the other side of the hangar....spouting forth as he is want to do when guzzling amazing amounts of the foaming ale....looked up and saw me pointing at him.
In short order....he is yelling "What?" repeatedly....and people began to move away from him....and he became flustered....and as people melted away and fewer folks would stand near him....he became confused and showed signs of anxiety....and finally became very quiet (decidedly an un-Bradley like trait!)...and everyone left his side.....and then Bradley sat down on a folding chair and actually appeared to mope.
So folks, one can go monkey hunting in the middle of a social gala at an airshow.
