AAaawwwwww.....
I feel so sad reading your post... may I share my experience and give you my 2 cents?
When I started with First Choice (then air2000), I thought I would fulfill my dream by doing this job. I had been through tons of interviews and I was so thrilled when they told me I had been selected! I went through training with huge interest, asked zillions of questions, made friends... it felt so right... until I did my supernumerary... when a #1 told me "the job is very different from what you learnt during training isn't it?". Bless her. She's gone now but her statement was crucial: I had to review my expectations!
I have resigned recently. I had to admit the company didn't really suit me afterall (or vice versa if you want!). I found myself more and more unhappy there and the feedback was very different depending on the day: sometime I was told "you're brilliant", the next day the opposite. I didn't know if I was going in the right direction or not and as an achiever, I soon found myself deeply frustrated.
It is a fact: working with different crew/supervisors/coordinators every day is extremely challenging as it gives you no stability and for someone new in the industry it can be very demotivating as it becomes more and more difficult to understand if you are appreciated or not. Alas at 33 I am still somehow a little girl in need of approval!
To keep myself motivated, I would set goals for myself: one day I would go through the cabin and collect coins for the charity we supported, the next I would make sure all the children had pillows, blankets and plenty of water, I would take the time to speak to a pax scared of flying, then I would ask disabled passengers if I could do anything else for them (hopefully making them feel looked after)... My satifaction on the job was about these tiny little things, not about gosips, company rules, salary, promotion etc. ... and what happened is, that after a while, I realized I was too good for my employer!!
No false modesty here! - The airline is there to make money and they use the crew to sell (more than serve and help) because this is the way they survive, live and breathe - I'm there to take care of people, not to push them to buy snacks and alcohol! I care for others, that's why I do the job.
It was really hard to quit as I had no other job to go for and I didn't want to leave my new friends, but my sense of pride and achievement was below zero and it took me time to realize that things wouldn't change until I faced it: it wasn't the fact of being right or wrong, I was simply about accepting I was in the wrong place!
I have understood that I am pretty good at what I do and I know now that I can be appreciated somewhere else... so I kissed them goodbye! Mmmmwwwaaaahhh!
To my opinion, you should give it at least 6 to 12 months before you make your mind up. During the first 3 months, you will probabily learn the equipment checks, the pre-boarding prep, the service, the location of service items on board different a/c, the cart prep. After maybe 6 month, you'll have flown with the same crew at least twice and you'll start making new friends. If you're not flying long-haul then it's a bit more demanding physically but hang in there until you feel comfortable with what you do. Flight after flight, you'll build more confidence and dealing with people and problems will become easier each time. See this as an opportunity to learn, it's a very good school for patience and self-confidence!
You will also probabily find out that winter is usually quieter than summer. You will have plenty of time off. This is when you'll have the time to do something else (and trust me you'll need something to occupy your brain otherwise you get nuts!).
Find a hobby, start studying, play music, go to the gym... personally I would suggest something "good to your brain and your future"... if you see what i mean... coz flying until you drop is not really the kind of future I would wish to anyone!
Don't loose your connections with the outside world, keep in touch with "non-airline" friends, keep all your doors open so that in a year or two, if you still hate it, you'll have plenty of other things to go for!
Remember: you are a wonderful human being! Not just an employee in uniform!
A virtual hug!
FJ