I saw this a while ago and was very amused by the prospect of Bill Gates in the RN TLAM process...
*click*
"You have chosen to launch a cruise missile at Tehran"
*click*
"Sorry, Tehran is not recognised"
*swear*
"Please install the latest Geopolitical patch from whodoyouwanttobombtoday.m...m/updates"
*click*
"Sorry, Geopolitical update requires IE 7"
*click*
"Sorry, IE 7 requires Windows XP 2005"
*more swearing click click click .... 4 days later*
"Welcome to your new installation of Windows XP 2005,
please enter the 254 digit serial key found on the back of the CD-case"
*taptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptaptap
tappitytaptaptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptaptaptappitytap
taptaptaptappitytaptaptap*
"Sorry you have entered an incorrect code, please enter
again. Warning if you fail to enter the correct code 3 times
your windows installation will be deleted from your hard drive
and you will need to install again"
*profanity .. taptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptaptap
tappitytaptaptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptaptaptappitytap
taptaptaptappitytaptaptap*
"Sorry you have entered an incorrect code, please enter
again. Warning if you fail to enter the correct code 3 times
your windows installation will be deleted from your hard drive
and you will need to install again"
*ranting and profanity taptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptaptap
tappitytaptaptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptaptaptappitytap
taptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptaptaptappitytaptaptaptap
tappitytaptaptaptaptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptappity
taptaptaptaptaptaptappitytaptaptaptaptappitytaptaptap*
"You have entered the correct code, please click 'OK' to
continue"
*phew click*
"Thank you for installing Windows XP 2005, we hope that you
will enjoy the many new features"
*click*
"New hardware detected ...... 6 533mm torpedo tubes, one type 2076 sonar,
"Welcome to Windows XP 2005 Military Submarine Edition,
who do you want to bomb today?"
*click*
"Where have all my targets gone? Click on the start button,
select Programs, select nations and choose the nation you wish to bomb"
*clickclickpausehmmmmclick*
"Welcome to the 'Bomb Iran' Wizard, please click next to
continue"
*click*
"Please enter the message you wish scribbled on the
side of the ordance"
*tap tap tappity tap tap tap*
"Thank you, please click next to continue"
*click*
"Please select the City or Town where your target
is situated"
*click*
"Please enter the co-ordinates of your target"
*taptaptappityclick*
"Please wait, accessing target's records ... layout of target
found, please select door, window or ventillation shaft you
wish the ordance to enter"
*click"
"You have selected the ventillation shaft next to the toilets,
please use the slider below to set the approximate yield for
the ordance you wish to use then press next"
*slide...click*
"Based on your target criteria, yield and entry point I have
determined the appropriate ordance to be : GBU-131"
"Sorry, GBU-131 is not compatible with Windows XP 2005
Military Submarine Edition, please enter new criteria or click
on "Manual" to manually select the ordance you wish to use"
*mutter mutter not compatible with sub why choose it stupid
software click click*
"Thank you, you have manually chosen the TLAM cruise
missile, I have selected an appropriate warhead for your
chosen yield : 50 Megaton Nuclear Device"
*blink hmmmmmmm okay this could be fun, wonder if the
captain would believe me if I said it was the computers fault...click*
"Sorry, your nation is not equipped with 50 Megaton Nuclear
Device, please make your selection from the list ->"
*aww no fair wanted to see big badda boom..click*
"Congratulations, you have selected the 2000 pound
conventional warhead"
*mutter spoils port I wanted my big badda boom...click*
"Please enter the number of missiles you wish to launch"
*tap click*
"Sorry, your device is only fitted with 6 torpedo tubes,
please choose a number between 1 and 6"
*bugger! tap click*
"Thank you, please enter the time you wish to launch
this cruise missile"
*clickclickclick*
"You have selected 11:45 Hours on the 11th of June, 2003,
press Next to continue"
*eh? damn it only accepts american date format mutter
mutter click click click*
"You have selected 11:45 Hours on the 5th of November,
2003, press Next to continue"
"You are nearly there! please click on Launch to launch your
selected ordance at : Tehran Security Service Building with a
selected yield of 2000 Lb warhead 4 of to launch at 11:45
Hours on the 5th of November, 2003. If this is correct,
please click on 'Launch'*
*W00t! finally!* *click*
"Congratulations you have succesfully launched a TLAM
cruise missile with 2000 LB warhead at Tehran Security
Services Building. Please click next if you wish to launch
another attack or cancel if you wish to exit this wizard and
choose another target"
*sigh only 20 more targets to go .. click click click ..........................er?*
"Ordance now launching, please ensure you have opened
torpedo tubes 1 2 3 4 5 6 before you launched ordance"
*oh .. oh @#%$ ... oh @#%$ .. CAPTAI......*