Set the bu%%er on fire. That'll get 'em out in 90 seconds. Let's face it, FOCAL, if they're all going to die anyway (and won't anybody PLEASE think of the children), what difference will it make?!
By the way, what happens if you can't actually see DOWN the slide (i.e. see the bottom) but it just appears like a tube or something from the top - you know, like they have in water parks?