Bealzebub, very funny...
Might one (only half-glibly) suggest the purchase of a GPS receiver if you're that desperate to know where you are? Failing that, a good map and compass would be a better than average way of passing the flight. It's not even as if DFW-ORD is particularly interesting: half's desert, half's fields.
I agree with the general sentiment. Mostly because when a captain speaks over the PA it's to announce an actionable requirement - seatbelts being the most obvious, major delays being a non-actionable one. Simply saying "we are here, look left, that's there blah blah blah" would annoy many more people that it would please.
Or you could just fly Delta, who have that fab moving map thingy.