We went to countless interviews where they asked us questions (separately) about our life together and I found it all very degrading and long winded - like they were trying to make out I was there under false pretences.
Sorry it was unpleasant for you. The unfortunate reality is that there have been many sham marriages just for immigration purposes. That's why BICE (nee INS) looks at these things very closely. Unfortunately, like many buruea
rats, they can be quite unpleasant to deal with.
because meanwhile millions of immigrants are illegal here.
Very true. Our system is set up in weird and wonderful ways. Some folks have been pushing states to issue drivers licenses to illegal immigrants. Most local authorities will not (and can not) take legal action against someone they suspect of being an illegal immigrant. Only BICE and Border Patrol can do so. Even if they are arrested by BICE, chances are they will be set free before their detention hearing. So they will likely scamper off. If they do attend their detention hearing and are given a deportation order, they are again set free, and will likely scamper off.
Basically, the only way an illegal immigrant gets deported is if they are 1) caught crossing the border or 2) commit a serious crime. Right now, I suspect the BICE only has the resources to deport 50k illegal immigrants per year. At that rate, we'll never get the problem under control.
Just to be clear, I am not anti-immigrant. Like most folks here in the US, I descend from recent immigrants -- my 4 grandparents legally immigrated from the USSR in the 1920s. What I'm against is illegal immigration -- it is a crime and we should be enforcing our laws.