Caniplaywithmadness,
When you said "As for the incident that started this topic the controller was wrong, but berating him on this forum was not the best thing to do", etc.., what were you referring to?
I have re-read the original post and don't see any "berating" at all.
However, as someone who passes through the various types of regulated airspace in UK on a fairly regular basis, I always try to behave as if I am visiting someone's house or garden. If they ask me to do something, I do it! If a question arises, I still do it provided it doesn't compromise safety (as I know this type of thing is likely to be taken into consideration at a later date when requesting subsequent clearances)!
The only time I recall taking issue over something like this was some time ago on a VFR flight when a controller, on my initial free call which was to request a Class D crossing, told me to "standby", which I did, for about 10 minutes.
Having realised early on that Approach was very busy and we were unlikely to get a clearance through the airspace, we had already descended in order to pass beneath the TRA stub but were now clear beyond it too. I called to say we no longer required a service and were going en-route, but to our surprise, without the controller having identified us (we were on a 7000 squawk), we were suddenly told to turn 70 degrees right. This turned out to be away from another aircraft well ahead of us, crossing from right to left, which we subsequently realised was inbound to the controller's airspace from Class G.
As we had been in sight of that aircraft for some time, were well laterally separated in good VMC, already going to pass well clear behind and below, the captain told me to decline his offer (I was acting as second pilot that day and covering the RT). The ATC person began to berate us on the RT so I politely pointed out both aircraft were in Class G airspace and asked if we could discuss it by landline later. We rang on landing at our destination, but without actually resolving the situation to our satisfaction. The controller was really quite aggressive on the phone and insisted we were wrong to decline instructions in Class G and that the other pilot could have "filed against us". We pointed out that we were not identified, had not been in regulated airspace at any time, nor been in receipt of a service and were therefore operating under the principle of "see and avoid", which presumably the other pilot would have been doing.
Please note, I am certainly not berating anyone either
but would welcome constructive discussion.