To the Crews,
Through out one's career there are happinings that happen to a few.
Do not be a sook as Itchybum sugests, make sure the companies give you the time to talk it through, as and when you need it.
As to why it happened , let the investigators do their thing.
Itchybum go take a dose of Vermox,you are in dire need of it mate,If nothing has ever rattled you in your career, you will never know , or understand the effects it can have on one that always thought he could cope with it all.