A few thoughts as both a current military and a civvy pilot:
It does seem that quite often, when faced with an emergency situation, civvy pilots (especially aircraft owners) try to save the aircraft first and themselves later. Many fatalities have been caused by pilots trying to stretch the glide to a large field with the hope of flying the aircraft out again, and stalling/spinning, instead of sticking it in a smaller field, running into the upwind hedge but walking away. Just think about it, 60kts into a hedge horizontally or 100kts into the ground vertically.
With a gear problem landing on the runway will (even if not done perfectly) end in a slightly damaged aeroplane and a good story to tell your mates in the bar later. Believe me, it's not Hollywood, it won't burst into flames. A Tornado did it at Leuchars not so long ago. The advantage is that you don't need the steps to get out of the jet. Landing on grass is totally upredictable unless it's a cricket pitch (don't even think about it). Just one small tuft of grass can have the aircraft cartwheeling and all your mates in the bar drinking to your memory.
Think about yourself first, let the insurers worry about the aeroplane.
Reichman