M,
You are, not entirely correct.
The correct terminology would be proctodynia.
Proctalgia can be used.
I pride myself in use of 'chartermark clear English' to avoid all confusion.
Seems the punters like it that way.
FD
BTW by something nearby I meant somewhere nearby the seaplane base. Nearest is Cumbernauld and that is 45 mins or so in a car.