The probe tip is fitted with a weak link secured by shear rivets. The idea is that if things get tense, the probe tip breaks cleanly and stays in the drogue. Obviously that puts both reciever probe and hose out of action, but no other really significant consequence.
I've seen tipless probes with a bean tin speed-taped over the soggy end used as a get-you-home device before now.
The Timmy has a habit of walloping rather high fuel pressures down the hose if allowed to - I've had excess fuel pressure blow the probe tip out of the drogue on initial contact behind a TriShaw. Making contact with low pressure in the hose and then selecting the Carter pumps on seems to help - and stopped the pulsing effect.
On the A310 MRTT, the current plan is for 2 Carter pumps to supply the AAR gallery, pressure is then regulated and augmented at the pod by the RAT ('pod prop') system. But the Carters are quite powerful beasts, so I can't see the pod RATs having to work particularly hard!