* Log On - Make the barbecue hotter
* Log Off - The barbecue is too hot
* Monitor - Keeping an eye on the barbecue
* Download - Get the firewood off the Ute
* Hard drive - Trip back home without any cold tinnies
* Floppy Disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once
* Keyboard - Where you hang the Ute and bike keys
* Window - What you shut when it's cold
* Screen - What you shut in the mosquito season
* Byte - What mosquitoes do
* Bit - What mosquitoes did
* Mega Byte - What Townsville mosquitoes do
* Chip - A bar snack
* Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
* Modem - What you did to the lawns
* Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
* Laptop - Where the cat sleeps
* Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster
* Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart
* Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed
* Mainframe - What holds the shed up
* Web - What spiders make
* Web Site - The shed or under the veranda
* Cursor - The old bloke who swears a lot
* Search Engine - What you do when the Ute won't go
* Yahoo - What you say when the Ute does go
* Upgrade - A steep hill
* Server - The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch
* Mail Server - The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
* User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing things
* Network - When you have to repair your fishing net
* Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
* Netscape - When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
* Online - When you get the laundry hung out
* Off Line - When the pegs don't hold the washing up
