I almost agree with part of your post 411, I must be going soft in my head....
The company sets the rules but also gives (as it must) the Comander the flexibility to break them if necesary. It also asks of both crewmembers to monitor the flight and speak out if any deviation form standard procedures or settings is observed. The company also uses each crew to police each other by stablishing a system of official reports, confidential reports, etc. This is just the way the game is set up. You can resent it just as you can resent the flight data monitoring system.
I however feel that this post does not deal with serious safety critical situations. It deals instead with the everyday frictions of overzelous FOīs and Captains that think that SOPīs donīt apply to them. With the frustation of people that would like to be given by law the moral respect that they can not gain from their own actions and example. With the inexperience of FOīs that only have the rules to fall back upon since they have little personal experience.
If you think that some FOīs can be a handful you should try Skippering a chartered sailing boat around the Caribean. At least your FO is being paid , has been told that it his job to help you and has some knowledge of the dangers ahead. Instead of paying you, looking for a good time above all else and has no clue of what might lie ahead. To gain the moral respect of people and gain their support and confidence, guide them without them feeling they are been guided is a difficult art. Much harder but also so much more satisfying that saying īI am the boss' , to wich I would reply (OK I would just think it) īare you? why donīt you act like itī. It is no good saying I am responsible for everything and then failing to take responsability for your crews actions, performance , development, etc.
A good rule of thumb I used to have was that if I felt myself getting anoyed or raising my voice I kew that I had screwed up.