Check out the
A Question for the Professionals thread alot of the answers you seek will be there somewhere.
It is a tough road to travel, and as someone said on another thread it takes no prisoners.
There are two ways of getting your licences and ratings:
Integrated (12-18 months at one of the large FTO's cost approx £60-80k)
Modular (12-36 months pick and mix the training providers cost from £30k)
Both routes will provide the same licences at the end of the day, it depends how you want/need to structure your life to fit the training. Modular is the more flexible route.
Whatever you choose, build at least a 20% contingency into your financial plan to take into account any unforseen issues that may appear during the training. If you do over-run on anything you wont be stuck for money halfway through your IR. If you dont use it, then you are quids in and take the wife to Venice for a long weekend to thank her for her patience and understanding.
Best of luck.