Gertrude, whilst your trusting nature is very laudable, bear in mind that whilst you, for-example, know the crosswind limits of your aeroplane - the tower controller probably doesn't....
I've no idea what the crosswind limit of the aeroplane is, other than it's greater than
my crosswind limit. So far whenever this has been an issue ATC has asked which runway I want. Of course if they didn't I'd refuse a runway I couldn't land on and ask for another one; but this hasn't a lot to do with accepting a request to do an overhead join when the approach is a bit busy.