Which is why I said "
- only kidding!"
Still have the air-to-air slides I took of the 'Pink Pigs' back in 1991. Not quite up to your standard, M-o-t-F, but there was a war on and we were 'sausage side' at the time. Those TriShaws' desert pink paint job reduced their reflected light enormously.
BTW, now that I'm mere civilian trash, getting you on the base to hitch a ride to OW would be a tad difficile. The very pleasant Sally Army mob on the gate f*cked up recently (they trusted someone), so Plod is currently running paranoid!