Field in Sight
Just one small point about your brave post (!). If we assume the gusts are mainly, repeat mainly, variations of wind speed rather than variations in wind direction the crosswind stuff hits you abeam and while you may have to work at the ailerons you do not expect to see the ASI going quite so wild. Which leaves gust effects appearing on the ASI during downwind and into wind turns.
If there is anything in my gut feel that while flying my toy R/C aeroplane gusts tend to arrive all of a sudden and fade away more slowly then this would account for why the gust as you turn into wind does not bother people but the one hitting you up the jacksi seems worse and has given rise to so much debate.
I really would like a met man to discuss (factually) the shape of typical speed changes in a gust.