Sorry to appear evangelical, that wasn't my aim and I freely admit that I get it wrong sometimes when doing lots of things, including flying. I'll even admit that sometimes I don't even like to admit it!
In answer to your question, i.e. have I found situations like those you describe - well no, not to that extreme (I think you might just be tearing it to make a point) but yes I do know what you mean.
I certainly don't seek to deny the valid viewpoint of experienced Captains on this or any other topic but as I said I feel this thread needs (needed!) some Devil's Advocate. However, I do seek to point out that CRM is valuable, that FO's can be right and Capatain's can be wrong, even both crew can be wrong and its always worth asking anyone else who might be able to help.
I'll leave others to be judge and jury on the examples we have discussed but you say that I am ignoring the real world, may I extend this to suggest that maybe you have stopped reaching that extra bit in the hope of touching the ideal one?