The ultimate brew decode guide by TR:
Julie Andrews - white, none.
Adolf Hitler - white, one lump.
Dolly Parton - white, two lumps.
Whoopi Goldberg - black, none.
Linford Christie - black, one lump.
Shirley Bassey - black, two lumps.
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A hackneyed old saying that all basic military training instructors use: "You'd better start switching on.... you're in your own time now!"