There can be nothing more destructive to their learning than a student who attempts to direct the training. They can be impossible to teach effectively with such a battle to first overcome. I doubt that I have ever taught two people the same because people are so very different. The instructor needs to adapt to each students learning skills by discovery however, and this is my point, it is as important for the student to know how to learn too. Learning requires as much a level of skill and concentration as teaching.
Messing about on flight simulators when unqualified is not a good idea. Concentrate on the elements of the course that you are currently learning. Restrict your reading to relevance and try to resist reading too far ahead. Curiosity can be unhelpful - it killed the cat after all. We each have a personal learning rate and too many lessons a week can be too much and the training can race ahead; slow down perhaps just two a week spread as much as possible.
Your current instructor sounds perfect. Ex professional pilots who have the experience that you describe are gold dust. They are still prepared to climb into a light aircraft with a struggling 60 year old PPL student because they have never lost their love of flying. DON'T waste the opportunity.