From “Air Clues, the Royal Air Force Magazine” (my favourite bedtime reading for many years) June 1980:
I learnt about flying from that
Some years ago I had the good fortune to fly Buccaneers with the Royal Navy during a tour embarked on a venerable aircraft carrier. The Mk. 2 version of the Buccaneer was very new in those days. In fact our squadron was the first to be equipped with it, and we had to put up with numerous engine modification programmes involving many engine changes - not always an easy task on board. However, at the end of one session of engine changes when almost every aircraft had undergone another double engine change, our stalwart squadron junior engineer, who was known as Split Pin, was offered a sortie as a reward for all his hard work. It was, naturally, a double engine flight test.
Now Split Pin was not a keen aviator. But he duly accepted the offer and was eventually strapped into the rear seat of a Buccaneer by a couple of grinning ratings. Not surprisingly he found the accommodation in the rear cockpit rather uncomfortable. Meanwhile I jumped in (you couldn’t really do external checks with half the aircraft sticking over the South China Sea) and started up. Half way through the after start checks a voice from the back seat said “Is it serviceable then?” “Of course not” I retorted, “None of the lot you service ever are!” I was joking of course, but unfortunately Split Pin believed me.
At that point Split Pin unstrapped because he was uncomfortable. He was not surprised when I taxied forward towards the catapult because the SOP for unserviceable aircraft was to keep their engines running and to taxy forward to park clear of the flight deck landing area. However, he was considerably surprised when the aircraft was tensioned up on the catapult. “Hey, what’s happening? Are we going to be launched?” he enquired. “Of course!” said I, busying myself with the engine checks before launch. I didn’t know that Split Pin was unstrapped - he didn’t dare tell me!
Anyway, off we went, and I flew the whole flight test profile chanting out all the figures to a strangely silent passenger. Eventually we recovered back on board without incident and only after shutting down did I discover that Split Pin had spent the whole sortie trying to strap himself in again. Needless to say his attempts weren’t very successful - and he hadn’t taken down any of the readings required by the flight test schedule!
The moral of this sad story is firstly, always say what you really mean when you are in an aircraft, and secondly never joke with engineers about the serviceability of their aircraft - they always take it too seriously.
First frontline Royal Navy S.Mk 2 Sqn: No. 801 Squadron, 7 Oct. 1965, formally commissioned 14 October with seven aircraft. The disbanded No. 700B Flight formed the nucleus of 801 Sqn. HMS Victorious 14.5.66 - 8.6.66 Home/Med. 8.7.66 - 13.6.67 Far East cruise (Three shore calls at Changi) . (Wings of Fame, Vol. 14).
Best regards
P.S.
Overheard at Headley Court:
"I'm a little stiff from Rugby."
PTI:
"I don't care where you come from, sir, get those knees bent!"
