We have an elderly neighbour who is sadly in the grip of progressive dementia. We’ve looked out for her and her male partner for some years. She’s over 80 years old; her partner ten years older. She was always very busy and worked and drove until her mid seventies. The first thing we knew about her problem was when she came over to see us and told us that she’d been diagnosed as such. She wanted to tell us while she could. Thankfully they have multiple family carers so we don’t need to be involved so much these days; we have family care problems of our own. Occasionally she turns up here. We sit her down, give her a cup of tea and let her make a fuss of the dogs, who are always happy to see her. Meanwhile, one of us goes over to inform her partner that she’s with us. She often reverts to memories of an abusive relationship she had and confuses her present partner with the previous one. We try to help her calm down and then walk her back home. It’s a very cruel, long term disease which affects others as much as the individual.