As an occasional visitor to SFO, this has been an interesting thread. I feel now that this is more about a systemic issue that unfortunately brought a customer and the service provider into conflict, which prompted some unprofessional behaviour from both parties.
In an ideal world, ATC would have created a small gap (didn’t need to be much) by speeding up / slowing down / vectoring other traffic, then filed a report with the regulator, airline and the airport authority explaining why this particular situation could cause capacity issues if it became widespread. I don’t think allowing one aircraft a little more space would have had much/any of a measurable effect on flow rates that night, but can absolutely see that if a significant proportion of arrivals demanded the ILS with procedural separation there would be knock-on effects. LH don’t plan to arrive after dark, so this was a rare or even unique situation for them, and possibly for ATC too...