Net result - my career is a good 8/9 years behind my partners, and honestly? It didn't need to be.
So if you had split the outside daycare hours (and other job interfering duties) equally, would the result have been 2 pilots who were unable to turn up as and when required, vs only one? Are you equally qualified? Could you fill in for each other, so it didn't matter who turned up for the job? Or does one hold qualifications such that they are the one who has to turn up? I would imagine that if your partner had not been able to take certain jobs etc, due to 50/50 child care split, then the net result would be 2 of you 4-5 years behind everyone else...or both not working as pilots.