Not impressed by the ATC response but no angels here. A few points....
Non US operators are forbidden to do circling approaches in the US, LAHSO cannot be given. Various other restrictions in Ops Specs from FAA. It follows on that some have visual approach restrictions.
LH do lots of visual manoeuvres in FRA a la 25R so well able.
Someone in a LH ops office may have thought banning all visual approaches at night was a good idea (other operators restrict but mitigate such as when joining at/above MSA). Perhaps there should have been an exception for SFO/ visual seperation due to the normal operating criteria in SFO? Management desks do not have HUDs and some need to fly more.
F words are not optimum comms.
Over rigidity can cause you problems in the very fluid world of aviation (have had the MINUS TWO KNOTS!' called from Germanic FOs in a very stable approach. The above post about refusing to cross a clearly defective stop bar is evidence of a certain Teutonic trait. Did he intend to retire at same stop bar?
ATC does not have the jurisdiction to impose penal holding/vectors/go around. They are there to keep aircraft and it's crews and passengers safe.
No one's perfect. The guy in row 36 did not pay his fare for a big balls fight over the radio.