Albo and Alan’s woke pro-Voice campaign bringing Qantas and Labor back down to earth
The once great Flying Kangaroo has been trashed by a CEO who loves to grandstand for social justice while letting the airline run to seed, writes James Morrow.
James Morrow
@pwafork
3 min read
August 15, 2023 - 1:23PM
Qantas’ ‘empty virtue signalling’ will make no difference to the Voice voteYou really have to hand it to Qantas, which has come up with what might be the most novel marketing strategy in commercial aviation history.
The pitch, which was unveiled at Sydney Airport on Monday morning with a little help from the prime minister (who doesn’t have to worry about flying commercial, at least for a bit), goes something like this.
We may not get you there on time. We may not get your bags there at all.
But guess what: If you’re lucky, there will be a big rainbow sticker on the side of your plane telling you to vote yes to the Voice.
Bon voyage!
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and Qantas CEO Alan Joyce attend the launch of the Qantas 'Yes' Campaign. Picture: NCA Newswire / Gaye GerardThat this is not Mad Men-level marketing genius goes without saying.
But nor is it surprising that the airline has gone down this particular runway, given the power the Voice has to make otherwise sensible people sell the idea in utterly insensible ways.
Qantas Baggage Handlers Throw Luggage in TikTok Video. Picture: Tik TokIt is for precisely this reason that nobody at any of the very high-powered campaign consultancies engaged by Yes23 and the Uluru Dialogue crash tackled Alan Joyce the moment they saw him advancing in their direction.
You can only imagine the Zoom call that led to Monday’s event.
“Okay team, any thoughts on high profile folk we could sign up to the Yes campaign?”
“Well, I hear the guy who turned his company into the most complained about airline in Australia might be available.”
“Who? Alan Joyce? Same guy who just cashed in $17 million in share options to buy a new apartment overlooking the Harbour? Yes, great thinking, he’s just who we need to tell struggling Australians to vote Yes and atone for their privilege.”
You see the problem.
The spectacle of a gent who presided over his company raking in billions of dollars in Covid subsidies while it unlawfully fired thousands of ground staff during the pandemic and who sets fares as high as his airline’s customer satisfaction is low might not be the best ambassador for constitutional change.
TWU NSW/QLD Secretary Richard Olsen at the Qantas terminal protesting job cuts. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Christian GillesEconomy passengers tell horror stories of bags gone astray and cabins that have been allowed to go to seed.
Meanwhile hedonists have observed that Qantas’ international business class has all the charm of the waiting room of an expensive Double Bay wellness clinic and is nowhere near as swank as the swell products on offer from Asian airlines like Singapore or ANA or Gulf carriers like Etihad and Qatar.
Speaking of Qatar, it is also worth noting that Qantas gets away with charging outrageous fares and treating customers like mugs because it seems that the government that regulates the airline industry allows it too. This is the same government that recently knocked back Qatar’s application to expand its landing rights in Australia
Particularly as Qantas has also decided to offer free tickets to campaigners pushing the Yes case (no such courtesy extended to the other side, of course).
Asked to explain all this by the Coalition, Transport Minister Catherine King stood up in parliament the other day and gave a smug answer about protecting local jobs and the national interest.
Catherine King during Question Time at Parliament House in Canberra. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Martin OllmanSadly the House of Representatives does not allow follow-up questions but, if it did, the Opposition might have asked how the minister managed to keep a straight face while talking about Qantas as a champion of local employment. Or, for that matter, if the national interest means keeping Australian tourist dollars at home because, absent competition, its too damn expensive to go anywhere else.
This week also saw the tantalising revelation that Tourism and Trade Minister Don Farrell declined to deny that he was in favour of giving Qatar more access to the Australian market, but that he was apparently overruled somewhere further up the chain.
Ultimately, it may turn out that in the long run the government has done Qantas no favours by blocking overseas competitors who could teach them a thing or two about comfort and service. And, in the meantime, for both Joyce and Albaneese, this can only go so far.
Just as Qantas’s once loyal customers believe the airline has lost focus, polls suggest the same thing is happening to Labor, and that the PM’s high pressure sales tactics on the Voice are distracting from more pressing cost of living issues.
A new CEO, Vanessa Hudson, comes in to the Qantas job in a few months.
She’ll have her work cut out for her winning back the trust of a customer base that has seen that trust abused in recent years.
Putting an end to politics would be a good start.