I agree entirely with what you are saying, my comments regarding the PA28 fuel selector was not that it was great, but is probably towards the better end of the spectrum for the design era.
The offending fuel selector from a 1978 PA28 Warrior II, taken 20+ years ago, but I assume they haven't changed much.
The only real issue with it was it's location down the left side of the cockpit which made it slightly awkward to operate. The "Off" locking mechanism can be seen to prevent inadvertently going through the "Left" position hastily.
As for procedures, nothing beats the old standard mnemonics. However pretty sure you can get all sorts of gadgets/apps, on iPads/Phones these days that you can set a basic alarm to remind you to change tanks. Have it yell "Hey Moron, check your fuel" through your bluetooth headset, or whatever will get your attention.
As for Vital actions, really can't be stressed those initial actions need to be from memory. Scrounging around for a checklist, paper or on an iPad or similar is not what you want to be doing low to the ground. One very good way to remember these things is to create flash cards, put em in the toilet to read and test yourself while on the throne. Make a home made quiz using one of the free quiz apps and set aside some time to do it regularly, keep adding stuff to your cards/quiz that will help you not only in emergencies, but on tests/renewals IPCs etc... Armchair fly, instead of paying for Yoga or TaiChi, sit in a chair and meditate on flying. There is a multitude of cheap things that you can do, and make sorta fun that can help you memorize your flying needs.