John
Well, here is the full, truthful, unabridged story in rhyme and verse:
The Moresby Gliding Club
A group of young enthusiasts
Met at a local pub
To talk about the common love
“The Moresby Gliding Club”
Their membership was very low
The running costs were high
They needed some dramatic act
To catch the public eye
“I’ve got a good idea” says one
“Been planning it all day
I’ll try it out tomorrow
When coming back from Lae”
The flight to Lae was wonderful
The aircraft right on track
They had no reason to suspect
The drama coming back
Their business done–they climbed aboard
One had a bulging billum
The captain chuckled to himself
“The last ten minutes will thrill ’em
This trick will have no impact
If I fill her up with fuel
I’ll take enough for Top of Climb
And glide in from Mount Yule”
They flew along as smooth as silk
With not a single jolt
But as they got to Galley Reach
Both donks ground to a halt
The Captain said “Thank Christ they’ve stopped
They make a dreadful din
I’ll now complete the exercise
And glide this b@stard in”
A glider is a lovely thing
You see them everywhere
Some metal – others wood and glue
But never a KINGAIR
With noses flat against the glass
The victims watched in horror
And none of them had any doubt
They’d all be dead tomorra
He held her on the centre-line
He called the Tower and said
“For Christ sake make me number one
I’m landing straight ahead”
He put it down right on the “keys”
And made sure he was clear
Then smilingly he turned and said
“I think we need a beer”
“The Aero Club looks very nice
Looks like it’s just been painted”
But there was none to answer him
The bloody lot had fainted
Wes turned and looked him in the eye
He said “Thank Christ that’s ended
It really won’t surprise me
If your licence is suspended!”
“Those passengers we’ve got on board
Look like they’re in a trance
But now you must excuse me
‘Cos I think I’ve sh1t my pants”
When Joe Wal heard it on the phone
His hands flew to his head
His eyes stood out like organ stops
“Fcuk me” was all he said
But when he heard the details
Of this history making flight
His eyes lit up with interest
And he thought of it all night
For Joe had always longed to fly
Although it made him dizzy
But this bloke here could show him how
On days he wasn’t busy
So Joe signed up on the spot
They headed for the pub
Now Joe’s the latest member
Of the Moresby Gliding Club
Sir Jules picked up his phone and heard
A voice known far and wide
“This Grumman that arrives next month
- I wonder how they glide”
Mentioned by Kagamuga:
THE SEQUEL
Now the GII is a racy craft
That really takes some knowing
With power controls and warning lights
Some flashing, others glowing
How well it glides we still can’t say
We haven’t tried that yet
But our entry into Brisbane
Is one we’ll not forget
Skydrol spraying wildly
Across the Queensland plains
The locals dodging madly
To avoid its burns and stains
Towards the runway our skipper aimed it
Sweat upon his brow
And he was heard to mutter
‘We’d be better on a plow’
And with a mighty wallop
We made contact with the strip
Then someone grabbed the ‘Tee’ bar
You could hear the rubber rip
Mid smoke and flying pieces
The four wheels stopped as one
And we skidded off the runway
With much washing to be done!
Thinking of Wes Guy, Slive McIver and I went to see Wes at CAA to ask for single pilot approval for the Talair Citation II, for private, test and ferry operations. We argued for an hour, our case was our Citation II and the Citation IISP were one and the same, only the model name was different. All to no avail. Wes would not agree.
As we were leaving, out of the blue Wes offered a dispo against a Senior Pilot License to fly the Citation. It was useless to Talair, any pilot intending to fly the Citation would already have an SPL. A real mystery........
Until a couple of weeks later my phone rang, it was Wes asking if CAA could hire the Citation for a PNG wide inspection. Of course it would be flown by CAA pilots under Wes's command. All became clear - Wes did not hold an SCPL!
I offered the Citation on condition a Talair Citation endorsed pilot flew in the RH seat. Wes declined the offer!