Originally Posted by
BEagle
As I wrote in a previous thread:
As any RAF AT/AAR world traveller who has visited the USofA will know, ordering breakfast in the US is a good grounding in resistance to interrogation. The aim of the game is to avoid being asked any questions:
"Good morning (name), it's a very nice day and we're ready to order!" Use of her name always invites a friendly smile!
"Two fried eggs please" positively invites questioning as the Americans seemingly have a vast number of ways of cooking the simple fried egg. So "Two eggs over easy" is the way of avoiding that.
The next question to pre-empt is "Ham, bacon or sausage?" Beware if you ask for sausage though - that might prompt the supplementary "Links or patties?" question.
Next comes toast. "White or brown" offends woke sensitivities, so it's best to go for "Rye toast please" - but we're not finished there, because you'll need to specify if you want buttered toast. That can prompt a "Regular butter?" supplementary - for the uninitiated, the alternative to 'regular' isn't low alcohol, lead free, low fat or somesuch, it's 'melted'....
Don't think you've aced it yet, because then comes orange juice, or rather 'OJ' - and that can be 'regular or large'...
Finally, don't forget "That's everything, thanks - and we'd like seperate checks please".
A silly crew game played in many a Holiday Inn or the like - but the delightful waitresses were always willing participants.
I spent about a month staying in the Holiday Inn on Solomon's Island, whilst doing a stint at Pax River, and spent the entire duration of my stay trying to get the breakfast waitresses to understand that I just wanted a "full English". I went so far as to print off a slip with exactly what a full English breakfast consisted of, together with a plea to please stop interrogating me every morning with a dozen or more choices, and asked reception to please make a note of it. Sadly it fell on deaf ears.