“ After the engine blew up and the wings fell off acting Flt. Lt.Cactus-Tumblweed, heir to the Sheepdip Co. fortune and married to the lovely Wilma Wasp, heroically directed his flaming, falling wreck away from the orphanage and cute puppy farm by ejecting, thereby changing the centre of gravity and consequently the flight path of the careening Lawndart Lancer MK 4. For his heroic actions Cactus-Tumbleweed is expected to be decorated for saving life ( his own ). Promotion to higher rank is likely subject to expected defence budget cuts. Upon hearing of this Her Majesty was quoted as saying: “What has he done this time?” An audience is expected with Her Majesty as soon as it can be proven that hell has frozen over according to a palace spokesperson.”