For the day the new uniforms are launched, I'd be grateful if Right Said Fred would re-record "I'm Too Sexy" with these lyrics:
I'm too sexy for Typhoons,
Too Sexy for Typhoons,
Prancing round in pantaloons.
And I'm too sexy for your squadron,
Too sexy for your squadron,
Got my satin stable belt on.
Aviator, you know what I mean,
And I do my little turn on the taxiway,
Yeah on the taxiway,
I shake my massive tush on the taxiway.
I'm too sexy for my smock,
Too sexy for smock,
D'you think I look like Mr Spock?
And I'm too sexy for parades,
Too sexy for parades,
Sweety, do these come in other shades?
Aviator, you know what I mean,
And I do my little turn on the taxiway,
On the taxiway,
Yeah I shake my massive tush on the taxiway.
(Repeat chorus and fade until howls of derision subside)