Into the village in which I live came a retired Lt Col and on his first trip to the local alehouse he was asked what he did. His reply was something along the lines that he had just retired from the army. Asked his rank, he played the 'telephone colonel' bit by saying he was a colonel and then started to hog the conversation with quite a bit of 'when I was in ........'. The next time he came into the pub some wagg called out to him 'hey corporal' to which he was quite affronted but never tried the colonel bit again.
Old Duffer