On a flight from Sydney to Coolangatta, our Purser (very senior and post middle age) was confronted by an elderly couple whilst boarding.
The woman said to the Purser: "The Captain would very much like to be seated in rows one or two. With his wife!"
Leonie, the Puser, quickly retorted, "There is only one captain on this flight and he he is not moving back to rows one or two!"
"Tell the Captain, and his wife, row 23 on the right."