JM,
Nice that you are concerned so much about your wife but you are a very large part of the equation and Dubai/EK can be a very frustrating place to be and company to work for.
'havn't suffered much from not having a union', (paraphrased), don't believe it. Qualification for command, accom, pay/allowances are not dicussed but imposed. Still, better than BALPA.
If I knew a few years ago what I know now, I wouldn't have come to EK, though there are others who are happy enough, good luck.