We seem to be doing the "characters" which were numerous in the 60s. A quite well known one on the Hastings fleet was "Frosty" Winterbottom (who else?). Before my time at Changi he was renowned for somewhat elaborate japes such as slipping an Air Movements Officer armband onto his KD sleeve and once all the pax were seated prior to departure, go through a scripted dialogue of how the Captain had informed him that the Flight Time to Gan was such and such, the weather enroute was so and so, etc, wish them all a pleasant flight, exit down the pax stairs, sneak forward out of sight to the crew entrance ladder (never used in my time but a steep climb to the underfloor emergency exit in the Nav's "Bomb Aiming" compartment) and go to his captains seat. Having driven to Gan, he'd perform the whole ritual in reverse, and welcome the pax to Gan and tell them the local time and temperature. Needless to say, few noticed or cared that both AMOs were one and the same!
A more successful wheeze was to have the co-pilot take control of the auto pilot (each pilot had a simple turn, go up, go down, controller on their outboard coaming) and slump down in his seat so as to be invisible from the cabin. Frosty would attach a string to his own control wheel and another to the co-pilots, open the flight deck door wide and slowly and ponderously make his way down the cabin paying out his strings until he spotted a likely candidate for his ruse, usually the youngest and prettiest female pax. He would politely explain that he needed to answer a call of nature (the loos were right at the back of the cabin). Would she kindly hold the two strings, this one in her left hand, and this in her right? If she spotted the aircraft trying to turn left then simply tug on the right string, and if a right turn then ditto with the left. The co-pilot of course was ready to initiate such turns (with the Nav's agreement). Frosty wouldn't be long and he was very grateful for her help. The time that then elapsed depended on the gullibility of the victim and the necessary acquiescence of the more switched on pax.
Humour was different in those days, witness his other favourite joke which was to simply take a box of empty gin bottles to the flight deck before the pax boarded. Once airborne, on the hour, every hour, the flight deck door would be flung open and another empty tossed to the cabin floor. How they laughed! About the only trick he didn't pull to my knowledge (though I could be wrong) was the old one of dark glasses, white stick, and tapping his way to the flight deck after boarding pax. You have to draw the line somewhere!
Frosty later became an instructor pilot at 242 OCU Thorney Island. One night he was doing co-pilot dual training. The co-pilot would do the landing/arrival and Frosty would run the flap to the T/O setting, re-trim, say I have control and open up the throttles for a roller. He'd done this a few times already, but this time a car suddenly appeared ahead crossing the runway (those who know Thorney will remember the "level crossing" gates that prevented traffic crossing the runway on the road to the Officers Mess, OMQs, Church, etc during T/Os or Ldgs). Finger trouble by the SAC in the tower had obviously let this one through. Frosty made an appropriate utterance, went through his tidy up drill in double quick time, and poured on the coals. As soon as he had flying speed he hauled on the stick and managed to clear the car. Not much else was said, other than once downwind he told the tower that this would be a full stop landing. Once the shutdown checks were finished and the F700 signed off he headed back home towards his OMQ. To do so he had to pass the Officers Mess and felt he had at least earned a quick dram given the fright he had just experienced. A quick dram became a double, followed by another, but eventually he arrived home. He apologised for his tardiness and began to explain that he'd had a bit of a scare earlier. His wife cut him off, "Never mind about your little scares, I was almost run down by a Hastings tonight!". Poetic justice perhaps?
Last edited by Chugalug2; 24th Aug 2020 at 19:03.