Feet Dry,
Do you ask "Mind if I smoke" of people who are your direct subordinates, who rely on you to set the tone and enjoyment level of their working day, for whom you direct what their tasks will be (enjoyable or otherwise), and whom you potentialy have the power to advance or retard proffestionaly?
If so do you not agree it is grossly unfair to put a subordinate in this position, particularly when you are asking him if he will aquiese to you breaking a regulation? This is the position an FO is put if a captain asks such a question. After all, "Mind if I smoke?" is clearly a statement that "I want to smoke, are you going to object?". A lousy position to put a subordinate in.
Even asking is tantamount to harrassement.
As for your statements regarding public places, does your view extend to other anti-social activities? Swearing, talking loudly, having a strong body odour... My right as an individual to do as I please and if you don't like it, push off?